this pain...

i dont get it, i have this pain, this anguish... its so small... and insignificant that i dont notice it, but i sure did a few mins ago when i was just out sitting on my front porch. i have no clue where it comes from, or maybe i do, but dont people get over things? and it always hits when im alone, the worst time cause there is no one for me to hold close...

i think the worst part is that i cant cry, i feel like an idiot for letting something get so close to my heart... maybe thats why i have such a hard time letting anyone else near my heart... if i cant get close enough to it on my own...

i dunno... asdfjklj;lajksdf;lk!!! ><