meh

im tired... for no reason. iv been dragging ass all day today. i just want this week to be over with. i dont feel perticulary good today. i have nothing to do, i still miss megan, i have to finish my argumentative paper, get a liscense, get some clothes, go to my midigation hearing, my interveiw that will determine my future... and crap, all within the next few days or so. im really hating life right about now. and i just want to see her so bad... anyyything... even if for a few mins. hopefully when she gets back from ny we will be able to hang out for a bit, secretively of course. sigh. i just want things to slow down some, i cant take this. man im emo.

oh man

i dont know how to explain what i am feeling, crap dosnt even come close to explaining it. i feel i may never get the chance to even tell the person i love so much... that i love her, im person. i feel i am at fault, i am the reason there is so much rescent friction between megan and her mom. i just want her to not go through that, and i would do anything... but i cant. and that is what is killing me. i just keep asking myself "why me?", so many young loves have never had to go through this. everything fit together for us to meet, we have never faught, we are like perfect together i think. she is at the butt end of all this, she does not diserve this.

<3 you megan.

the new beastie!

my mom paid $1200 for this!!!

its an american eskimo... that hates me already. and its barking is so loud, it makes me want to kill people! megan better bring me back something from ny... or i will be upset and angered, actualy not really, but still.

another one!!! boring... hurray boring!

well, my interview at royell got pushed back a few days... so now i get a few more days of nervousness! yay! i cant for the life of me get the lil' jon "snappin ya fingers" outa my head! nothing short of a bullet will get it out! and this is the second post of the day! yes! i have no live. and btw the redstripe comercials are only the best. cascade is a wayyy better school then EHS... that school is a peice of shit compared to this. the air conditioner here is the shit! i am cold as hell! 52 mins left in here... hopefully they go somewhat fast. megan goes to new york on monday, i hope she has fun... i want to go! and then gets to move to chicago, so it can only burst to life as she gets there.

eff this!

i am so pissed! i had to get a ride to summer school today! the damn seat in the expidition wouldnt move back... and my mom is so short... that i couldnt even fit in there if i tried! plus it took me forever to find some clothes that were clean this morning, anger! and more anger! plus its shitty outside today, today is not a very happy day.

dedicated

-Longest relationship: 4 months and 2 days.

-Shortest relationship: 2 weeks of anoying bitching hell...

-How many people have you broken up with? 4 ish... was 5 last night.

-How many times have you truly been in love? once or twice... truly once.

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? around 4... i think only one means it.

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with? yes... well not yet atleast...

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? well things have hurt afterward...

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? yes, and it made me too.

-Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend? yes... more or less not having one.

-Are you happy being single or in relationships? relationship.

-What is the important PART of being in a relationship? yes, talking. and hanging out.

-What is the worst part of being in a relationship? how you end up getting set up for pain sometimes.

-Worst relationship? oh god... it was bad

-Have you ever had your heart broken.? yes, kinda

-Have you ever broken someones heart? i dont think so

-Do you talk to any of your exes? no! not one!

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you? heeell no!!!

-Do you think any of your exes feel the same way? no... i hope they want my sweet ass!

-What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend? well she has a acura, takes pictues, apparently love chocolate... and thats about it!

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? yes, i hear i am.

-Have you dated people who were not good to you? yes

-Have you been in an abusive relationship? no

-Name your most memorable ex you have had: um, i dont want to, she yelled alot.

-Have you dated someone older then you? no

-Younger? yes

-What is one thing that all of your exes had in common? um, they were desposible

-Say, who are the top two most attractive exes that you have dated? um, no.

-Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend? no... i cant sleep that way

-When is the last time that you were in a relationship? well... now.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes

-Believe in love at first sight? not sight

-Ever dated two people at once? no...

-Do you want to get married? some day

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes? yeah, die please. and give my back my shades larrisa.

-Ever stolen someones boyfriend or girlfriend? no, i dont think so...

-Ever liked someone elses boyfriend or girlfriend? no... well...

-Do you believe in true love? yes, more then anything. and its proven well.

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? you have no idea.

the moped

ok, i got a moped a few days ago! yesterday i ripped the exhaust off, today i put a tail pipe! its so friggen loud! like insaely! im gonna do some more mods to it later today! yes!

i really dont get this

ok, we are back together now... but there are now some guidlines that i have to adhear to... like i have to go to church with her, and go to a mormon class thing, that i will hate! and that was the worst 2 hours of my life... really. she was so messed up that she even freaked her parents out. and the weirdest thing happened, i was on aim with laura (matts gf)... and telling her about it, still all emo, and then megan gets online. she then tells me that we can see eachother, talk about change of emotion.

ps, today was basicaly the best in a long time. <3

sad

i dont wanna explain why, but it will be less painful in the long run... i hope.

more people need to look at this

cause there are like no comments! and its agravating! and im hot. i want to go see a movie, or do something other than sit around here. i got a moped today, its pretty sweet, i already took the muffler off it... and sheeeit is it loud! also got a honda motor and $40. i have a caugh, and i dont like it... amuse me someone!

#ber 3

3rd blog of the day... man i have no life... yet i have so many things i could be doing... ah!

its hot, im lazy, there is nothing to do, im sick for some reason... and i have no clue where that came from. im listening to blind melon. while sumultaniously downloading some bad religion. bryan and tyler are out having a bbq in my front yard...

sigh...

bleh!....

another hot day without megan... this is getting boring... fast! i have nothing to do... i cant even text her! i have to text laura, who is the most anoying person on the planet and manages to turn matt into a pussy when he is around her. i am not liking this week so far... and i dont feel good. i just want the weekend to come, but then again i dont cause i wont be able to see megan, i hope she can get out of the house sometime. being around matt and laura (ugh) made me miss her even more. i just need some lips to kiss... even if its for a little bit...

ehh... why are things so lame!!! its summer! i should be out til 3 in the morning every night having fun with friends... but they either have moved away... are fucking people at about that time, or are grounded. i am alone! hurray.

hottttt

it is fucking hot out! like so hot i cant beleive what is happening! i dont wanna get up to do anything... its that hot! i miss megan, i want to talk to her... but even that has to be secretive now, how can something so good turn into something like this, why cant people just accept stuff that they dont have any control over... i just want to hang out again, go to seattle or something, take pictures. that would be nice, even if it was a last time. shit... imagine how hot it is in seattle!

bleh

i am sitting in summer school, the sun burn on my back hurts, i dont feel good, and i miss megan... ehh...
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ow!

i have a sun burn on my back and it hurts so bad! like insanely! i am tired for no apparent reason... and dont like it... its so boring with megan grounded! sigh... 2 weeks left of summer school... yay! its hot here! even with the air conditioner running full blast.

oh yay

well last night megan stayed the night (and told her parents that she was at a friends), she got grounded and is not allowed to see me... gee, whats new. her parents are really serious this time, and thats a shame because i really love her. well my interview at royale industries (machine shop) is tomorrow, i know il get it cause the guy that reffered me is the suporvisor... so yay! and its like a $10 an hour job starting! so hopefully i can move out soon!

chicken time v.2!

well... today me, matt, and megan caught a chicken talked about earlier. it was fun! we netted it, then put it in her trunk. now it loose in my yard hiding... great...

chicken time!

tonight me, my brother, and his friend found a place where there are chickens in everett. we are gonna get one tomorrow to live in my back yard! yes! i also have an interview at a machine shop on saturday! yes! and the last thing i did tonight was smash my ass on a jump after my bike flew out from under me. my ass hurts...

i just cant take it

i just spent about 2 hours working on the front front wheel for my bike, i put the tire on, it goes flat. i spent about 2 hours looking for the tools that my brother lost to take it apart and put it back together. i just cannot be not pissed nowadays... everything! people have no clue what im feeling... why im pissed off, and they just blow it off like its nothing. i have so much weight on my shoulders right now, i dont need this. my deck is a mess, my yard looks like a dump, my house looks as though its condemned... i have cars and shit that i cant even get rid of. its just too much. im going for a walk in a bit. i wanna cry but im too mad at the moment. i wanna listen to my ipod, but i dont have any headphones other then the stupid ipod ones that suck ass. i just wanna leave it all behind, even if i had to lose some things that meant anything to me... well... a few i could not live without. i just wanna go a live in a city, where people get around on bikes, but it seems as though i killed that possibility with my shitty grades. i look at all these other kids... the ones with nice houses, nice cars, jobs... it just makes me angy how no matter what i do i cant have that. that happy life. there is only one thing i caer about, and thats the people that care about me. i guess this is the more emo side of me... i mean c'mon... the bills can barely get paid, my parents relationship is pretty much in the shitter, my house is a pile of crap. yet i still have a cell phone, $2000 mountain bike, various other things... so i cant really comlpain, and that makes me mad, talk about a sweet/sour thing here! if megan ever deiced to move to new york, im going... no questions asked.

so... tired!

i am so friggen tired! i went to the Y today and worked out... then i biked alot... tiredness! my arms hurt... but in a good way i guess. my bike is in parts all over my kitchen cause im cleaning and rebuilding it. hope you feel better megan (since i cant seem to catch you on aim or anything! haha) <3

more!

god!!! i have to wait like 5 more days! then megan is going to illinois (i think... i cant remember)... i will be so bored! but today was nice, with the exception of not getting something... its cold outside, sice when does it rain in summer..................oh wait! its WASHINGTON!

stuff

i am at summer school, my phone is vibrating now.. and i am tired. megan comes back today! yes!

61...

i am bored, tired, and miss megan. 4 people were murdered in a house a few blocks away from mine, there were cops and FBI all over everett looking for the guy that did it. i cant wait til later tomorrow.

kinda...

... been falling off track, i wanna be doing blogs every night... but i forget! this week is gonna be sooo boring! megan it at flager til thursday, its monday, she left today, i miss her already! i just got some fluid for my zippo, so i can use that to burn stuff now! yay! summer school is a drag, its all staring at a computer screen, constantly! i cant stand it! school is totaly going to convert to computers soon enough. they are having all these fat kid problems in schools, having kids stare at computer screens all day haunched over sure as fuck dosnt help. i can remember days where i have had to stare at a computer screens 5 out of 6 periods! how retarded is that. the school takes away tasty little dellectables to try to cut down on the fatasses that cant control their eating! and that punnished the kids with a good metabolism! why god, why?! why do they have to take away the fries?! the soda?! stupid PTA! i should start an anti computer-in-schools campagn, that would be pretty kickass! i also discovered a new band... its called Placebo, it kicks ass btw! blind melon is also pretty fucking good! i am tired, i should sleep. wow.. its 11:11!

you have no idea

how tired i am... its insane, im too tired to type anything other than this...

oh, and energy drinks are not good in the mornings! fyi...

im pissed

okay, i just looked at my bike crank today, i found a crack, on a $200 crank! good thing i was able to come up with a spare... i hope i can get it warrantied by odyssey... tards and their crappy ingineering! look on the pic, like just at the beginning of where its machined down, you can see a little crack there. that is a $200 crack. and these cranks are suposed to be the strongest aluminum ones you can get! gah!!! im so pissed! i also found out that the spindle in one of me pedals was bent too... who bends a pedal spindle and cracks an aluminum crank?! i dont even bike that hard either.

summer school

im in class now, this is the most boring thing i have ever done! ever! and the worst part is that the breaks are like 8 mins (exactly!!!) long! there is nothing to do, this school makes everett high look like a peice of shit, the air condition turns this place into a walk-in freezer... i am not happy now.

got some on my fingers... whiped it on the wall

its funny, i feel good... for no apparent reason, i havent done anything good, nothing has happened. i dont know. im listening to everlast now, i like the lyrics, alot of then you can actualy connect to. mmm, strawberry milk! i wanna move to cali, have i mentioned that yet?! this room is a mess, there is stuff everywhere, i think im gonna clean it tomorrow, same with my room, you cant even walk up there! its a mess! anyways, night niggas!

fun with yogurt!

a firecracker in yogurt! yes! what an awsome idea!!! and the cops came tonight cause my brother was lighting fireworks... retard.

i crumble and i take the fall again

i want to do something new... not saying i dont like how things are going (cause in a way, they are really good), i need new things! tues should be good...

oh... and i just got hit in the nuts by my brothers friend, there is a pay-back in order.

semi-good-day

taday was pretty sweet, went to twin lakes today... didnt catch shit though, got back, drive my rc car around, me and megan went to see The Devil Wears Prada. i liked it, for being a chick-flick that is! it was pretty funny. i had to piss sooo bad, i was gonna explode! oh! and tyler just lit some firecrackers in the house below my feet... fucker! and i want tomorrow to be as eventful as today, it was pretty sweet! i had starbucks! and was the most hyper i have ever been!!!! it was awsome. sheer awsomeness. i am tired, but i dont wanna sleep yet. i should though. i need to shut my eyes and think of somewhere cold and caked in snow. by the fire i could break the quiet. i could also learn to wear eachother well.