finaly!

i got megans camera! about friggen time!

and today was good, im so tired now... megan, you wore me out! today a went over to megans house for dinner and the missionaries came over for a lesson thing!!! holy crap that was akward! they like put me on the spot at the end and handed me a book of mormon. im not gonna pray, i cant connect to anything, i just feel stupid... i hoping i like dont hurt their feelings when i say no. ok, im going to friggen bed, il see you people in the morning (figuratively of course)...

matts clunker

a week or so ago we took the turbo out and everything, we broke off some bolts, and matt had to order a new (used) turbo, a few days ago the new one came in the mail, it came with 4 broken off bolts! stupid junk yard, well... we put it in anyways. it runs a ton better then it did before! but still makes a ton of noise around where the bolts are broken off cause of the exhaust leaking. i spent so much time puting that in there... i know i did around 80% of the work on that thing! well... if you can fix it, weld it. and thats what we are gonna do. find someone to weld the thing with a good welder and call it good. now im all greasy and stuff and need to change my shirt and wash my hands (still).

today i am going over to megans for dinner, and some missionaries are gonna come over teach me things i dont really feel the need to learn (me being non-religious and all), its gonna suck... they are taught their entire lives to convert people, and i dont wanna convert dammit!!! its gonna be fun shunning them down everytime they attack me with why i should convert and all that stuff. im hoping her mom told them i wasnt interested and stuff. cause if she didnt... it will be a fun night!!!

well...

apparently according to megan i look and act different... in a good way, like more grown up or something, maybe thats a sign of good things to come, and man i need em. we had some time to reflect on things together tonight, it was good, but still painful. i have been listening to the band say anything, i really like the song 'alive with the glory of love'... for some reason, its pretty twisted too. its raining outside now... maybe that signifies a new me ...? hmm. im in a really weird/good mood, not like usual though. i dunno, its like 2 in the morning, i should get some sleep soon. today was pretty good, or atleast the latter half of it... especialy the latter half!!! i need change, things are changing for me, but in odd directions... i wish i knew how to aim the changing-things in a way that is best for me, nothings really bad, just different. things are changing fast, and i dont know what i should do. ideas please?

k, nite <3

ah

well, i started looking at trade schools that teach cnc, i came across renton technical college, looks pretty good, the course i want to take is this, its an expensive 2 year course but i will get an associates of applied science degree, so cost is not really that much of an issue. the main issue that im worried about is being able to get into the course in the first place, they dont require that much, but i still need to graduate, find some crappy machin shop course, take another math course, and take a higher level science course... man im gonna be working my ass off this year.

im bored, and megan is not online for some reason... damn her!!! she is the cause of my boredom! haha.

<3

bleh!!!!

i dont feel good today, megan wont message me back (she was pissed about be not replying cause i was asleep), i hope everythings okay. and on top of that i still have to help matt move his shit today!!! i hate being bored but having so much i could be doing...

haha!!!!

today was boring but fun, got to hang out with megan some, launched tyler off the back of his bike... that was fun, he was stalking me all over the place for revenge!

im bored. night.

i am so tired

i was up til 5:30 last night, and just woke up (around noon)... and i cant get back to sleep! i am so tired, i think i want to die some...

holy crap!

its 5:09 am!!! and im still not really tired! i have been out riding all night. i still dont feel all that good about things that have been braught to light between me and megan... it hurts. i keep trying to think of what i could fix... and how close i really was to losing her, man this sucks. and i cant hope for a fix like normal with things that happen with her parents, i actualy need to think of how to fix this. i need to start treating everyone better... not just her.. but her especialy, i think i have really hurt her. and the sad thing is that i have not noticed it. i dunno, alot of things need to change in the next few weeks, things like this, other things, and yeah... goodnight.

well...

today so far...

i have downloaded the really old snow patrol cd, and it sucks horribly! my mom has just apologized for her drug induced sickness last night (... fucking bs), i have smashed my toe on the stairs, dropped my cell phone like 10 times already... and man... the rest of the day better not go like this.

today

was good... really good... alot better then last night...

i feel like an asshole

last night put things into a new light, i almost lost someone... again... im sorry megan. things will be right.

bored!

there is nothing to do... even thought i have things i could be doing... actualy not really. someone needs to amuse me some! i am hanging out with megan tomorrow. that should be fun! its been what... a day since i last saw her... haha. i have no life...

10 mins!

damn thats fast!

this week

has been completely insane... i had to help megan move, work on various things, and do other stuff i would rather not be doing... tomorrow i get to go to the river with megan, hurray! and then to church with her on sunday. i am so bored now, tired, and covered with brown spray paint splatters! because i juuuussst had to hit a spray paint can with a hammer... to see what would happen. there are splatters all over the side of my head, face, arms, and shirt... its pretty insane. i need to write a letter for megan, she deserves it. i also have something else in mind for her come september! that is if she is still around! she will love it im sure!

your well of lies, went dry...

well, megan is almost moved in... finaly... so hopefully her mom will stop stressing out about things. i helped mett take the turbo outa his car today, then i went over there and helped them move in. i read another of megans letters... they are good, i like this one the most, it was ALL about me! thats not a bad thing either... i should write more about her. it was really really good... we really think alot of the same things. its insanem almost scary...

well i just dropped matt off, im listening to Billy Talent, tired, its 1:23 in the morning, and i need a shower bad! but that can wait til tomorrow! hurray for stinking of car grease, gas, axe, and sweat!

well peoples, im going to bed. love you megan, and im sorry if it seems iv been blowing you off lately, i dont meen to. <3.

fun-ness!

yesterday was fun! and yesterday night was even funner!!! it was the best by far.

he took off flying to the south...

... with the flag staff, in his mouth!

we are going to seattle tomorrow, me and megan, matt and laura. it should be fun!!! and exciting! i hope i have my cash by then! that would be sweet! she better not wear a skirt... they are horrible! horrible megan!!!

i am bore, hyper... and have nothing to do!!!

please amuse me people! amuse me lots!

today fun

megan is insane btw...

honda v.2

got the majority of the honda engine put together and some of the parts painted. i just need to get some carb-cleaner tomorrow so i can clean the engine block and paint it, then slap it all together. hurray! hopefully it runs better and smokes less then it did before. i re-surfaced one of the valves today on a drill press with the sharp edge of a drill bit. it actualy worked great.

ok, im tired, hungry, tonight was fun (and fast) megan... <3 you... night peoples.

honda...

... engines are alot easier to take apart than origonaly thought... i just hope it works when i put it all back together!

today was sweet, boring... but still sweet. me, matt, tyler, and bryan hung out in tylers garage tonight... taking apart the honda motor and figuring out what to do next. tomorrow me and matt are gonna head down to planned parenthood to raid the free condom dish... that should be sweet. then subway with megan! hopefully this entire week goes this good! that would be sweet! i smell of grease, gasoline, and black and mild. all in all a good day. bryan just slammed his way in through the front door. and apparently tyler will in a few mins. its 3 in the morning and i need some sleep. hurray for sleep! my toe dosnt hurt that bad anymore, but still kinda bad. im staring at some fishing poles and listening to blind melon, and thinking of nothing... actualy some things, but nothing anyone would wanna hear. my computer speakers suck bad, i should probably get some new ones sometime soon.

i really like blind melon, its a shame the guy died... good music.

i think, that i think really weird, i think about how my thoughts relate to things, and why i have them.... like on a deeper level i think. i dont get it, sometime like now its good, but sometimes it bad. cause i think about things that i shouldnt really be thinking about... analyze, then think about it even more. it really gets the best of me sometimes.

i think i have a really creative mind... i can visualize so many mechanical things, and how they work... maybe im like an undiscovered da vinci or something, and i have just not realized it yet. tyler just walked in and is wearing a pair of white phat farms... with bright fucking pink laces, its halarious, im laughing on the inside! i wish i had some money to actualy make my thoughts a reality... like i have this insane idea for a new bike part, that i know would work wonders in the bike world... but i just dont have the motivation to put it on paper or anything, i just think about it, and think about it even more. i could make millions! and then move to seattle! i really want to live there, i live [love] for the streets. just the smell, the bustling, everything. i really want to do something with my life, something big, and good. i get excited, then the reality drags me back down. i wish i could put reality on pause real guick, even for a day or so. that would be nice.

im sure if you have read to this point you have as little of a life as i do... good for you!

as mike ness says from social distortion "... there must be a heavin, cause i have been in hell every day of my life" or something like that, im not listening to it now... the more and more i think... is there a god? i know i dont beleive in religion (i cant, im not wired that way, too free willed), yes... im agnostic. but is there really one? i can even lean any direction... im lost in the mix. i went to church last sunday with megan, will something bad happen if im not mormon and continue to follow a religion i believe is false? i cant convert, i wont. but what i the next level? what would happen if i told her parents that i could ever convert? would it go back the way it was? i dont even know. its not that i dont beleive in god... i think i have a higher power that controls some aspect of life, maybe keeps me in check... keeps my leash at slack, but i dont know, im rambling on.

what is the next step with megan? this is something i have been really thinking about lately, something that has been really hanging over my head. its gonna be 5 months not he 25th, what next? i dont have any idea of what to do next. shes going to chicago in a few months (maybe, she says she dosnt want to), i dont know how that would go if she were to leave. i love her, more then anything. thats also a long long time, i know i would not find anyone else... not after this. i would miss her for a long long time, until she came back. i have alot of things on my mind concearing her. alot good... nothing bad. but just things... things i dont/cant talk about. NOTHING like when we frist met... but things. concearing me, her, us, ect. i just dont know when to bring them up, or even if i should. i dont wanna act on emotion, but what if emotion overpowers thought... or what of they are one in the same? i asked her about something a while back, i dont even know what that means... what it could mean. i dont want anyone to take this as a "depressed" ramble, cause its not, im happier with our situation now more then i have ever been. i think her mom is just starting to feel easier with me around, but i dont know yet, its only been a few days.

now its 3:33, hurray!!! and i should sleep. so im gonna say goodby to the 1 (one) person that views my blog, and hit it. laters people. <3 you megan, just so you know (incase this is new news to you).

"... like a pigeon thats spreading its wings, to fly along to better things..."

another fun-packed day

well not really... but it was not as bad as i would think it would be. i went to her church, forgot a belt and tie... but it was not all bad, i just didnt feel like everyone trying to convert me. i wont do it... i think im too strong willed for that, so i dont know, i dont want them to waste their time or anything. then we hung out at her house all day, it was nice, not alltogher boring. but w/e. then she did things... with nathan about 3 feet away, talk about risky! and i finaly got her letters, i never noticed really how much she thought like that... hmm. these past few days have been really good between us (im my opinion i think), really smooth. i like it, i think i love her even more... just sitting next to eachother was nice, far better then alone!

and guess what!!! her car has a new use now!!! other then a cat vomit and crap receptacle.

<3

hooooray!

the past few days have been really good. yesterday i passed my AP, went to seattle with matt and laura, walked aruond, and my toe didnt hurt that bad. today was awsome, megan came over, washed her car (and cleaned it out), we went to the mall so i could buy some clothes for church and such things, they are awsome, all completely skater-like as well as unmatching! then we did other things! oh god! then sat at my park for a little, it was nice. hopefully tomorrow will be good too!!!

bye!

man... tired

i had to wake up at like 7 today to get to my midigation hearing, and that was pretty sweet (except for the fact that i couldnt find the courtroom!!!), i just went in there, he asked if i was ever gonna drive without a liscense again, i said no... and he got rid of it all!!! all $676!!! i have to pay $85 on monday for a court fee thing, but i wont have a speeding ticket on my record! its pretty sweet. i working on passing my argumemtative paper... i think i will in the next hour or so, il keep the zero people that read this updated!

and my toe still hurts, extremely.

still ow

my toe still hurts, i have my midigation hearing tomorrow at 8:30, and still no liscense... i have not passed my argumemtative paper yet, i only have tomorrow to pass it, man im hurting for time... and literaly too!

i need to lay off the black and milds some...

sweet, hyperness

i think i need to go out and drive (Destroy) my moped around, im listening to everclear... i like them, especialy porland rain. that song makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up... for some reason. its weird. i saw clerks 2 today, that movie is fucking awsome! a downloaded version of course. megans in NY, sounds like she is haveing some fun. i just hope she has a ton more before she has to come back to this.